Screaming Of This Hour

There's no stopping it now.
Rushing
Ripping
Tearing fiber
Shredding steel machines
Digging bulldozing ravaging
Stripping to the soft center
the molten lava
Flowing, burning all it touches
Sinking deep into steaming red soup
Choking one spoonful at a time
Healing, multiplying white blood cells
Magnifying, seeing body rebuild
Strengthening, life flushed into a face once pale as snow
Storming, pure white blizzard
Piling, drifts higher that houses
Melting, green shoots fighting
Pushing to survive, to grow, to soak the sun
Shining, brilliant blazes,
Scorching, burning dry desert sand storms
Choking, taste of dirt.
Calming, still.
Dripping, rain water floods.
Can you see it?
Magnificent
Microscopic
Outer space
Quantum energy
DNA
Cosmic
Radioactive
Nuclear
Extra terrestrial
Biological
In the bleeding, breathing, conceiving
Construction, Destruction- resurrection
Lily pads, Tsunamis, Eyelids and embryos
Telephone polls, tadpoles and radios
All created power
All organic material
Screaming of this hour
Massive and overwhelming
Minuscule and barely seeing
Monday to Sunday
Kentucky to Canberra
Black, yellow blue
Red moon, dead sea
Can you see it?
Love driven
Life giving
Tearing to build
Dying to live
There's no stopping it now.

The Minority

I am the minority.

Not in race or sex or social status.

Not in outward apperence, intelligence or talent.

But, I am the minority. I am the few, the one in fifty that sees the reality of the world around me.

I see through your lies, I see past your eyes into the soul of humanity.

Stinking, rotting, dismembered humanity.

I am the minority because I am a walking light, I am the salt, I am the alive, the breathing, walking among a field of corpses.

I am the minority because I see what others do not.

I see colors others don't know exist.

I hear sounds others cannot hear.

I know what others do not know.

I know the answers to questions the majority asks.

I see past facades and fairytales, beyond bandaged wounds and covered up crimes.

I am aware, awake, and active.

I am the minority, and I am willing to be the minority even if it means being hated, ridiculed or slain by the majority.

I am the minority.

Everything Will Change

Tonight I said good bye to you in the park on a picnic table.

I wanted to run away, and I wanted you to hold me at the same time.

But I know in my heart, we could never be.

Now, I am starting over.

Now, my life is never gonna be the same.

Tomorrow, I am getting on an airplane, and everything will change.

Tonight, I cried and laughed and remembered times that have come and gone.

I wanted to hold on to them, take snapshots of these people that I hold in my heart,

But I know I need to let go and make room

Now, I am starting over.

Now my life is never gonna be the same

Tomorrow, I am getting on an airplane and everything will change.

Tonight, adventure is calling me, in a voice that was once muffled.

I need to answer it, I need to go.

I need to see the world.

I am running out of words

Or maybe I am just beginning.

Cause now I am starting over

Now my life is never gonna be the same

Tomorrow, I am getting on an airplane, and everything will change.

Dizzying Carousal

Somehow, beyond this crumbling garden wall

we see the world through the same colored lens

You laugh like a child and I spin in circles till I fall into the earth

I am falling into you and I am not afraid anymore.

You say that life’s a musical and I know I can’t dance

but I am not longer paralyzed

On opposite sides of the carousal, I can’t see you

nor hear your voice above the daunting melody

When will the ride end?

Questions fade when piercing blue destroys every sensible notion

I have forgotten how to exhale

You’re a mystery with one missing clue

Someday the sun will rise just like any day

and the clue will be whispered

and I’ll know

I’ll just know.

For now, I content myself to play this game of make believe

where you rewrite the cranial script and unwind the plot

until the happy ending is resolved

and like the lightening striking at that moment when

We have pushed aside all wonder and awe, we make sense.

My New Found View Of Life

Across these barren desserts

Through valleys laid with mist

I stumble incoherent to all

but this wild call

Never once stopping to ask

Where I am going

Never worrying

What if I fall

There is a beach somewhere

white sands crystal waters

beckoning me

to let go

The congestion and confusion

of the city it telling me to control

to plan

to strive

to succeed in this journey

but I see through the smog

I see a land

(somewhere over the rainbow)

and I know when I get there

I get there

Even if I have to drag these calloused bloody feet

one step at a time

I live to watch the scenery change

I live to love.

(Who can control this? I just don't care anymore. I am finished. It's over. It's no longer in my hands. It will be beautiful. The End)

Tomorrow

The stars of the present shimmer
through the dark depths of tomorrow
I ask myself why
The tree bends with impending sorrow
Another young girl dies
Thoughts long forgotten to the mind
Haunt the soul in bitter agony
What is it I hope to find
Within the chasm of echoed harmony
Crested jewels of self worth defying
As pure as the clear eyes of the newborn
Burning up with ignorant flying
Crowd with guilty silent scorn

(2003)

To My Old Man

Murmuring words now found by this wind

swept clean purified by something deep within

sinking you far below the tide

drowning you, instead of letting you hide

You are no more you have lost your grip

I no longer must stare at your dirty face

you are gone and you have been permanently replaced

new wings sprout out of these broken bones

baby skin aglow a different tone

brilliant eyes radiating a soft light

muscles expand with new strength and might

You are no more

You are gone with yesterday

You are forever erased

sunk down in slippery clay

(2004)

Eternity

Fluttering way beyond the line of supposed reality

Stirring

Shifting emotions and heart felt memories

Becoming

Radiant brilliance shock through my system eyes may look

through me but I remain standing

Looking

Softly spoken deeply hidden secrets of this life and how it is fading

Focused, pinpoint to the one who holds eternity in the palm of his hand next to the holes pierced so I could belong

Meaningless nouns surrounding this mound of incomplete de ja vu

Alienation

I am not made for this world

Closing my eyes I find when they open all has sunk to the bottom of an endless gray ocean and erased from the memory of the few that go on to paradise

(2004)

Beneath My Skull

Purple globs of awkward thinking
In the midst a light bulb waiting
for a solemn figure named inspiration to flip the switch
Ideas and revelations paced at the starting line,
Waiting for the gun to sound
To see who can make it to the finish line
Pictures of yesterday posted on billboards
Films playing round and round
Cabinets and drawers overflow
with a messy jumble of facts and memories
Anything but alphabetical order
Cobwebs and dust
hide forgotten creatures of the past
Then in the midst of all the clutter, You stand.

(2002)

Scattered Pieces

The most sorrowful sound ever heard

Was when Eden fell and God’s heart broke and scattered all over the world

A brilliant puzzle piece knocked from table to floor

Maybe all of history is the story of Him

Putting it back together again

Why do we all long for peace so bad?

Why do we all feel orphaned and lost?

One world, one dream of redemption

We are all singing the same broken song

We are all scattered puzzle pieces waiting to belong

Colors and shapes of hopes and dreams

Grasped in a tight fist we tear the edges

From birth to love to frailty

We’ve got this game down

Bend but don’t break

Hope but don’t risk

Cover your blemishes and wear this frayed red gown

Why do we all long for peace so bad?

Why do we all feel orphaned and lost?

One world, one dream of redemption

We are all singing the same broken song

We are all scattered puzzle pieces waiting to belong

Maybe the breaking will lead to the mending

Maybe the breaking will lead to the mending

I am not afraid of a broken heart

This is redemption

The Wrong Exit

Driving in silence I take a look around

The carpool lane is empty I cannot hear a sound

The traffic is steady the drivers staring straight ahead

The lines on the road are much too straight

They tell me where to go

But I can’t get out of my own head

They say this is the narrow road

But why this feeling in my gut?

Shiny guardrails keep us from getting in a rut

If there was a stranger in a wreck

Would we leave him to die alone?

They say this is the narrow road

But I just want to go home

Bright billboards flash before my eyes

Giant pictures of who we’re supposed to be

I am hypnotized by exit signs

Offering comfort and security

We’ve paved this highway nice and smooth

Achieved all we set out to do,

Yet do we even know where we’re going?

They say this is the narrow road

But why this feeling in my gut?

Shiny guardrails keep us from getting in a rut

If there was a stranger in a wreck

Would we leave him to die alone?

They say this is the narrow road

But I just want to go home

Many will say they know it well

This road away from man made hell

Yet what will we find at the end of the day

When the headlights have faded away

And we’re left here alone

No more security

Miles behind us

Now we’re on empty.

The Screen Writer

I am being led to a dark theater

where I think I am going to be shown the trailer I’ve been waiting for

Years of love and sadness summed up in two minutes

But I find myself beating against a locked door

There are no shortcuts

I am screaming out for played back stability

There are no shortcuts

I am crying out for predictability

All that I think I really want

Is to see how things will pan out

But all’s I have been given is bits and pieces of a messy script

Lights, camera, act right now

I can guess the plot in three tries

It’s safe, it won’t leave me scared or amazed

It won’t shake my world or stay in my mind

This movie I think I want might bore me to death

The truth Hollywood doesn’t want to tell me:

I am only truly alive when I don’t know the ending.

Almost Home

Though I cannot see the whole moon

I know one night it will shine on me and you

Though I cannot hear the whole song

I know I am gonna learn it and you will sing along

Though I cannot read your lips

I know it would be bliss to kiss

Though I cannot tell where I am going

I can smell the wild flowers and I know I am almost home

I can only see a few stars

But one of them is shooting

I can only write a few lines but they’ll change it all around

I can only sing a few notes but I know they will resound

I only know a few things

But I know your so beautiful it hurts.

Fear Has A Name, But So Does Love

Once I was afraid to step out of the house.

I couldn’t see straight, for the insecurity that blinded me

I couldn’t speak straight, for the shyness that overtook me.

Fear was my master- He enslaved me and beat me, taking all I was

Supposed to become, and making me into all I never wanted to be.

He motivated me: kept me moving, but only down the easy path.

He paralyzed me: stopped me dead in my tracks when all was banked on taking one more step.

He ruined me. Pushing away people I loved once they got to close.

Overcoming every thought, crushing my dreams like stomping on a delicate flower.

Once I was afraid to step out of my door,

But no more.

He doesn’t own me anymore.

Freedom Has Come.

Somehow, by finally facing him, seeing him for what he is, I overcame him.

Not in my own strength, but an unearthly power that overcame me,

That lifted my head.

That brought movement to my paralyzed legs,

Boldness to walk down the road less traveled,

A breeze, whispering encouragement and belief in me

You can do it.

You can suck the marrow out of life.

You can go on an adventure.

You can live your dreams.

He doesn’t own you anymore.

I do.

Fear has a name.

But so does Love.

A Shaking

Maybe our worlds need to be shaken

I’ve built some nice ideas over the weeks, months, years.

Some hidden idols

(Mentalities, stereotypes, judgments.)

Sometimes I get trapped in my own brooke-reality

Trapped under the buildings we build with faulty foundations

(Religion. Laws. Doctrine. Static, archaic things that do not bring LIFE)

We’ve been told God is our rock

Stiff, rigid, ouch-I-stubbed-my-toe, un-alive rock?

(The stone was rolled away after three days)

I can’t get the blood out of my head.

Life is in the blood

He shed His blood

Told us we would have to drink it to find life

Our gods are rocks. The stability and security,

The solid-rock life insurance

Rows of little rock-god-statues we hid behind

Maybe our worlds need to be shaken

And everything will crumble.

What if we knew nothing.

Nothing

Nothing

NOTHING

But the blood of Jesus?

The life flow love joy peace freedom brokenness messiness

Blood of Jesus.

What else is there?

Get Out Of Line

Hey you, sick of being ugly and poor?

Just follow me, wipe off your shoes, leave your heart at the door

Take a number stand in line

Don’t worry about it, the wait will be just fine

Do you ever wonder if there is more?

More than this endless waiting line?

More that this packaged idea of life?

More than golden promises of immortality?

These questions open up a gap I can’t bare to face

So I’ll kill them on the spot

And get back in my place

Don’t you dare turn your head, there is nothing here to see

All you need is in tomorrow and it’s just one step ahead

See where that guy is? That’s where you need to be

Where the glitter is endless, and you have all you need

Do you ever wonder if there is more?

More than this endless waiting line?

More that this packaged idea of life?

More than golden promises of immortality?

These questions open up a gap I can’t bare to face

So I’ll kill them on the spot

And get back in my place

Stop questioning

I’ve handed you your future on a platter

This is what you ordered

Stop questioning, stop looking for a sign

Hey you, get back in line!

Midday Sun

I can feel the sun soaking into my skin

Fading these jumbled thoughts, these lies that make me shiver

Melting, I am aware of nothing but the warmth I am in

Squinting I can see nothing now but the light that you give

You are bright, brighter than the sun

You are light, and I am coming undone

You just love, no matter what I do

You are life, and I am melting in you

Magical, glorious, the sand between my toes

Radiant, joyful heat freckles my nose

I could stay by your ocean forever

There’s nothing to do, it’s already been done

I could bask in your sunlight and never

Go back to the shade that I came from

You are bright, brighter than the sun

You are light, and I am coming undone

You just love, no matter what I do

You are life, and I am melting in you

The midday sun lights up the entire world

Yet changes the skin I am in

The Man without Emotion

Struck down and bleeding he vowed to himself

This would never happen again

Now that he’s older and wiser

He put up deadly soldiers

To guard his heart

From anything that would dare come in

Young man made himself old too quickly

By trying to hide from the pain

Young man lost his memory too soon

By trying to forget her name

Now he’s safe and has nothing to lose

And alone and has nothing to gain

He traded anger and sorrow for numbness

And in the process threw joy away

He got rid of all color cause he hated the ugly ones,

Now his whole world is grey

What did he think, we could be free from all pain

without throwing love away?

He was so afraid to feel

Now nothing left is real

Talitha Cumi

This knife is sharp enough to make a rainbow bleed

A thousand pieced of ribbon in the sky

Get caught in treetops and buildings

I wonder how she got to this spot so far from where she was

I wonder where these thoughts go when fear shreds them apart

Little girl, why are you so afraid?

Don’t you know how you were made?

You can wait by the shore, counting waves

You can burry your head in the sand

You can pretend like he’s the one who saves

You can pretend like you know where you stand

But you can’t run from the one who made you,

The one who forms your thoughts

Whispers from the ground rise to meet your ears

Do you believe this is who you are?

Will you succumb to this fear?

The sky is getting darker, I can smell the coming rain

You can run and find shelter,

Or stand and face the pain

Little girl, won’t you open your eyes?

Little girl, I say to you, arise.

Pentecost

When we begin to be aware of this spirit of love that fills our once empty containers,
We begin to believe it
We begin to allow it to swirl around,
to move, to rumble, to shake and shudder with delight
Suddenly our toes begin to twitch
Our eyes open wide
Our knees begin to shake
Our mouth opens and what happens?
Love flows out.
It is exhaled from the lungs, coming out our nostrils
It is within us and around us,
A smoky swirl of hazy beauty
A scent that causes your eyelashes to flutter
and your lips to turn upward
The atmosphere in the room changes
Shadows disappear and noiseless nothing is
expelled by a subtle melody
The melody of a new life
When we begin to be aware of this spirit of joy
Our forearms are strengthened
We unclench our fists and open our hands
The air has changed, no one can deny it.
Suddenly we've entered a new realm
This is more real than cold water
We walk forward into the kingdom

Blowing Away

I cannot see
I cannot hear
I am unable to comprehend or know
to understand to grasp anything
The complexity of myself, those around me
and the world is more than I can handle
More than I can grab, tie down and keep from
blowing away.

It's all blowing away.

These thoughts at first seem hopeless and depressing,
but they lead to the most hopeful conclusion in all humanity.

I am blind
I am incabable
I am feeble and needy.
I am dust
but I am dust you have breathed into
and because of that breath I am all at once
dead to all the things I tried so hard to keep from blowing away.

It's all blowing away.

I am blind, but blinded by your light
I am deaf, but I can hear you whisper in my head

Somehow, in this beautiful kingdom of paradoxes,
I become capable in my incapability,
wise in my foolishness
alive in my death
Because of Your breath
Because of Your blood
Because of Your heartbeat.

Lyrics of Love

Creating, I see you come into the World draped in Blue
Mesmerized, the fog swirls all around you
And you take your first breathe as I sing

You came out of a melody
With Notes forming every feature
You were born from a symphony
You and every creature
Life sprang from lyrics of love

You were made to dance before you could walk
You were made to sing before you could talk
But somewhere the dark noise drowned out the tune
You grew up and stopped listening to what was all around you

Come back to our song
Come back to where you belong

Let my love song bring you to life again